


Some Things Can't Be Rewritten

by keepitdreamin



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bruce Angst, Bruce Has Issues, Bruce Needs a Hug, But there's something going on, Gen, History, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Science Bros, Science Bros Week, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony is bad at feelings, but he tries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 12:47:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4138128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepitdreamin/pseuds/keepitdreamin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce has trouble looking past all the bad things he/Hulk have done... until a trip to Harlem changes his mind.</p><p>Science Bros Week. June 13: History</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Things Can't Be Rewritten

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a little late, but is for the Science Bros Week: June 13th prompt "History."

Bruce was never going to forgive himself for what happened to Harlem, and Tony had gradually come to accept that. He didn't _like_ it, but he supposed he understood. Hell, his own past was so full of fuck ups and scandals and really bad decisions that he sometimes wondered why he even bothered. When he got like that, he would find a bottle and/or Pepper till he snapped out of it. Well, he used to. Now, he would surround himself with his new teammates, his _friends_ (the word still felt odd when talking about someone other than Rhodey) _,_ who were all a little battered, a little broken, all with mistakes and regrets _just like him_ , and he'd laugh, annoy them, play games, workout, do science, plan pranks, watch movies, remind himself that _this_ was why he bothered till the feeling passed.

Tony fully recognized his past- maybe not always to the others, but he carried it with him everywhere he went in his own personal ledger- but he was also able to move on. What he was doing now couldn't erase what he'd done before- nothing can change the past-, but he liked to think it at least eased the suffering a little. Every villain he stopped, every piece of tech he developed that could save someones life, it was a reparation. Not nearly enough, but it'd have to do.

But Bruce… Bruce couldn't look past the bad. All he saw was people who had died _because of him_ , lives that had been ruined _because of him_ , things he could have prevented _if only…_ and it frustrated Tony to no end. Because Bruce wasn't a bad person, he'd never been a _bad_ person. Sure, way back when he'd been cocky and arrogant and had made, quite frankly, idiotic decisions, but he hadn't been _bad_ , just… mistaken. He didn't deserve to only feel guilt and sadness, but Tony didn't know how to get him to see it the way he did. Didn't know how to get him to acknowledge and accept all the good he and the Hulk had done along with all the bad. He wanted Bruce to be happy, wanted him to smile more and laugh louder and be himself- the self that he sometimes let peek through when his guard was slightly down...  But Tony had never been good with emotions, and he didn't know what to do besides keep pointing out how the Hulk helped during fights and how Bruce's mind and ideas and inventions would help _millions._ However, Bruce just smiled a tight lipped smile and didn't seem to be showing any inclinations of changing the way he viewed himself and the Hulk.

-

In the end, it was Harlem itself that changed everything.

It was a fairly routine fight. Villain somehow had gotten powers (this one from a freak electrical storm and the cocktail of drugs he'd been on), decided it was his 'birthright' to rule the world, and had started in New York (because starting your takeover in the city that based the Earth's defenders was such a _good_ idea). They'd taken him and his pack of mutated rats or lizards (Tony wasn't sure and he _really_ didn't want to know) out in a few hours and now they were just waiting for the Hulk, who was already slowly shrinking, shifting into a ruffled, exhausted Banner who stood butt naked in the middle of a mini crater (Tony knew Bruce would beat himself up over that later, but, honestly,  _sinkholes_  did worse damage) in a New York street.

Tony flew down from where he'd perched on a rooftop and landed next to the dazed Bruce. “Hey buddy.” The suit shifted and collapsed into the travel case, and Tony leaned down and pulled out some clothes (he really had to thank Pepper again for suggesting he carry fresh clothes for Bruce so he didn't have to walk around New York naked after a Hulk out). He handed them to Bruce who looked to be regaining some of his senses back.

“Thanks,” he muttered, throat dry and scratchy, as he pulled the clothes on.

Tony waited patiently till Bruce was completely dressed and looking a little more 'normal' before speaking. “Come on, Coulson promised that he'd order pizza for us when we got back, and I don't know about you, but I'm _starving_.” Tony in fact _did_ know that Bruce was hungry- it was one of the many side effects of a Hulk out- but he also knew that mentioning the Hulk right now wasn't a good idea. Tony wrapped an arm around Bruce's shoulders- he also knew that a Hulk out left Bruce feeling weak and dizzy for several hours afterwards- and they climbed out of the crater onto level ground.

Bruce froze and Tony worried for a split second that something else had happened while he was the Hulk, maybe those sewer monster were poisonous and it was affecting him?, but when he followed Bruce's eye line, he could see the sign that clearly said 'Harlem'. Oh no, that wasn't good. Tony tightened his grip on Bruce, maybe he could get him back to the tower before he went full breakdown, or, as he noticed the people who were slowly emerging from buildings now that the fight was over, maybe not. _Please,_ he begged a god, any god, at this moment he'd even take _Loki_ he was so desperate, _Please don't let them say anything bad. Please don't make Bruce beat himself over this any more. Please_.

Bruce was still frozen, and Tony could see a woman a few yards away who pointed then called to a friend a little ways away, “That's the Hulk!” Tony didn't know how it was possible, but Bruce somehow got more stiff. Tony clicked his tongue, activating his com, “Uh guys, we've got civilians and Banner's a little...” he flicked his eyes sideways at the stony face but panicked eyes, “triggery. Can I get some backup over here? Preferably with a car.”

The line crackled and Steve's voice came through. “Sorry Tony, we're trying but the roads are too bashed up. If you really need help, I could be there in 5 on foot, but for a car, you'll need to get to at least 123rd Street.”

“Well shit.” Tony would've said more but Bruce still hadn't moved and the crowd was growing and this was not looking good and-

“Hey!” a voice yelled out from the crowd and Tony braced himself for the worse, holding onto Bruce tightly. He needn't have bothered. “Let's give it up for the Hulk!” and the crowd burst into applause and cheers.

“What?” Bruce mumbled in shock. And Tony had to agree. _What?_

A woman stepped out from the crowd and the first thing Tony noticed was her shirt. It had a good likeness of the Hulk's face and words that read “The Harlem Hulk.” She was smiling as she approached. She waved her hand and the crowd quieted down a bit before she turned back to them.

“We're very grateful for your help in defending the city, Dr. Banner, Mr. Stark. I'm Wanda, and please,” her smile grew even more, “is there anything we can do to help _you_ now?”

Tony looked at her, then the rest of the crowd, full of nodding, smiling faces, then at Bruce who looked to be totally in shock, then back at the woman. “Yes, actually. The roads are messed up, sorry about that by the way,” he gestured to the crater behind him, “We'll get people on it right away, but we need to get down to 123rd for our ride. Can you point us in the right direction?”

“This might be the first time EVER a man has voluntarily asked for directions. What a momentous occasion!” Wanda laughed. Tony snorted, and even Bruce gave a little chuckle. “Jae!” she called back to the crowd and a young man, of about 20 or so, stepped forward, “Help these two get to 123rd, and Ty!” a younger boy, around 12, ran out from the crowd looking excited, “Run and get some water bottles for the heroes.” Bruce made a motion as if to say 'Oh no, we're fine really' but was interrupted by a coughing fit. This elicited a round of laughter from the crowd and Ty ran off to get that water.

Jae waved his arm, “Come on, we can start walking. He'll catch up.” Tony stepped forward and Bruce tentatively moved with him.

As they passed Wanda, she reached out and patted his free arm. “Thank you,” she murmured. “Back in 2008, you- the Hulk- stopped a car that was about to crush my son. I am eternally grateful, and if you ever need anything, anything at all, you're welcome here.” Bruce could only nod dumbly, and Wanda squeezed his hand before shooing them on. “Now go on, you both look ready to drop.”

-

Later, after showers and pizza and a few rounds of Mario Kart (hey, it helped them relax), the Avengers, worn out but happy, made their ways to their own quarters. Tony was lying on his bed, lazily flicking through Netflix deciding on a show to watch when a soft knock came at his door. He quietly asked Jarvis to make sure everything was saved and shut down properly for the night, before calling out, “Come in.”

The door swung open and Bruce stood hesitantly in the doorway until Tony patted the bed next to him with a smile. “You're just in time, I was about to start rewatching new Doctor Who. Care to join me?”

Bruce returned the smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes, and moved to the bed as the episode began playing and the lights dimmed. He sat on the edge hesitantly. Tony rolled his eyes and opened his arms wide. “Come on big guy. How am I supposed to get through Rose nearly dying the first time without someone to cuddle with?” Bruce snorted but slid into bed beside Tony, letting one of his arms wrap around him and hold him close to Tony's chest.

About halfway through the episode, Bruce finally spoke, “They didn't… they didn't hate me OR him.”

Tony nodded. “No. They didn't.”

“But I- He- smashed the place up. They should- Why don't they?” Bruce pushed himself up onto one arm, looking down at Tony with a mixture of both confusion and panic.

Tony considered this as he studied Bruce. “Why don't they hate the guy who was on the run and was just scared and lashing out? Why don't they hate the guy who stopped the other guy who was truly insane and would have destroyed everything? Why don't they hate the guy who has saved New York and the world and some of their own, personal lives multiple times? Why don't they hate the guy whose work is leading to better, faster and more affordable medical and health services? Bruce, why _would_ they hate that guy?”

“But I- I-”

Tony reached out and pulled Bruce down to his chest, hugging him hard, partly to comfort him and partly to avoid him looking at his face for this next part. “Yeah. But Bruce,” Tony took a deep breath then just dived in, “we've _all_ made mistakes and bad things have happened. Have I told you about how I used to design and sell weapons, and how I was so ignorant of what was going on in my own company that a lot of those went on the black market? But since then, I've changed. I've become, I hope, a better man than I was, but that doesn't change what happened, what I did. History can't be rewritten, and I will forever be noted somewhere as a 'Merchant of Death'. And I can't ever change that, but I can _add_ to it. I'll be known as a weapons developer AND a pioneer in clean energy. I'll be Tony Stark the playboy AND Iron Man. That doesn't excuse the bad things I've done and the people I've hurt, but I'm trying to help and make the world a better place, and that counts for _something._ And I'll probably still make mistakes that I can't fix and people might get hurt, but I have to keep going. Because if I focus and wallow only in 'What If' and 'Could've' and 'Should've,' I won't be able to do anything and _more_ people will get hurt. Same goes for working myself to death without enjoying myself in between. I want to help everyone, but I know I can't, and sometimes, I have to help myself. So rather than dwell on the past, I look forward to the future and enjoy the here and now. Like pizza and Mario Kart with friends, and drunk science, and… watching tv with someone I care about a great deal. So Bruce, what I'm trying to say, is that you have to decide how you're going to look at life. If you're going to dwell on the past that you can't change and the infinite 'what ifs', or if you're going to focus on the positive you can do and let yourself be happy… Or maybe you find a different way. By no means am I an expert on the subject. Just a person who is concerned for your mental well being and only wants you to be happy and yourself and-”

“Tony,” Bruce interrupted, placing a hand on Tony's chest, “you're rambling.”

“Right, okay. But you know I'm not good with talking about emotions and I'm kind of freaking out right now that all that spilled out and I think I need some kind of assurance that I didn't make a complete ass of myself. So if you could just help me out there…?”

Bruce let out a little laugh, and pushed himself up again. “Well, I don't think you made a _complete_ ass of yourself,” Tony smacked his arm, and Bruce laughed again before continuing, “ **and** I think… that right now, I'm going to watch tv with 'someone I care about a great deal.' And then tomorrow… we can talk more?”

“Yeah,” Tony smiled as Bruce settled back down, wrapping an arm around Tony's chest and nuzzling his head against his neck, “yeah, that sounds like a plan.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this turned out very rambly, and I blame that on my sleep schedule being all screwy and only having the time/inclination to write really early in the morning when I'm also really tired, but oh well, hope you enjoyed!


End file.
